Boundaries – Part 2

Boundaries – Part 2

Ministering to others, serving others in Christ’s name, and helping others come to know Christ is a true blessing.  Without healthy boundaries, it can also at times feel mentally and spiritually exhausting.  What does it mean to have healthy boundaries with my family and those to which I am ministering? For some of us, it is a renewal of our attitude toward others. It means saying yes when we honestly mean yes.  Saying no when we honestly mean no.  It requires us to examine ourselves, to seek Gods wisdom in knowing what we are responsible for and what is not our responsibility.  It means acting out of respect for ourselves as image-bearers of Christ, motivated by pure love for the other person, without fear, guilt, or compulsion.  Sometimes in our sincere desire to please God, we think of exercising healthy boundaries as possibly being disobedient to God’s will, but that is not true.  Healthy boundaries are pleasing to God and they allow peace, easy recollection of God’s truths, and a heart-felt love for others as our central motivation.   

There are examples of God modeling healthy  boundaries for us in His love story to us told throughout the Bible.  God never imposes Himself upon us but instead waits for us to choose Him and to allow Him in.   Jesus was honest, open, and transparent with others during His time on earth, said “yes” when He meant it, “no” when He meant it, always loved, never sinned, was not concerned about meeting other people’s expectations of him and we have no record of Jesus experiencing relationship burn-out.  Jesus withdrew on a regular basis to be alone in prayer with the Father.    

Here are some ideas that might help you in defining the healthy God-given boundaries in your life:

Proactively pray.  Ask God for wisdom and clarity about your time and how you are using your resources in your ministry.  Pray for insight regarding your motivation in regard to circumstances, relationships, or responsibilities in your life where you are feeling overwhelmed or burned out.  Reflect on your feelings and whether they are consistent with God’s word and will in your life.  For example, is inappropriate guilt or compulsion making it hard to feel good about your own healthy self-care?  

Maintain realistic expectations for yourself and for others.   We are all messy people!  

Remember that your job is not _____________ (you can fill in the blank 😊)

Prayerfully take responsibility for your time, recognizing that it is a limited resource. For example, determine beforehand how much time you might have for a conversation that you anticipate in the near future.  Then, respectfully let the other person know ahead of time how much time you have, so that they are aware and their time is respected. 

Establish daily time for necessary tasks such as checking emails, completing chores, and language study as well as chunks of time for private study, relaxation, and quality family time.  It is so important to prioritize time and energy for your most important relationships.  

In addition to encouraging others, look for supportive family, friends and team members who practice healthy boundaries in their own lives.  Debrief often.  Attend retreats and ongoing trainings whenever possible.  

Finally, rejoice in the successes – a renewal of energy for your ministry, deeper relationship with friends and loved ones, less guilt and greater joy in His service.  

-The MissioCare Collective Team